On a Hunt for Gnome Snowshoes…

You might have seen a picture of me the other day asking if you knew where to get gnome-sized snowshoes. If you didn’t see it, you obviously aren’t keeping up with your gnome gnews.

Tisk tisk.

The question came to my mind as I was hiking the Pebble Creek trail in Yellowstone National Park the other day. As you might guess, the weather in Yellowstone is particularly volatile this time of year. One minute it’s snowing, the next it’s sunny, and the next your shivering your ass to death.

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I couldn’t exactly tell where the creek began and where it ended. But one thing was clear…my silly little three-season hiking boots just weren’t going to cut it. I needed snowshoes.

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I tried on a pair that I found buried in the snow nearby. Apparently some hiker didn’t fare so well with the. There was even a boot still attached! Poor sap.

As you can plainly see, these are too large for my tiny ceramic feet. I pulled up my Google machine and got crackin’.

I didn’t find a single pair of gnome-sized snowshoes for sale, much to my dismay. However, I did find this amazing gnome-themed snowshoe race in Johnsville, California! Unfortunately, the 5k and 10k snowshoe race already took place this past February. Sad times.

snowshoes

But more importantly the gnomes in their pictures have snowshoes on! I’m gonna be out in the Montana wilderness for awhile, so I’m still taking tips if you have any.

Peace,
Sheldon the World-Renown Travel Gnome

Warning: Gnomish Cuteness Ahead

gnomekidsSavannah, Georgia’s Oatland Island (mmmm and island full of oats) held it’s annual Fairy and Gnome Home Festival yesterday.

Why the hell weren’t we invited?!

Apparently, a bunch of kids dressed and searched for woodland creatures. Searched? Check yo’ eyeballs….we’re right here! Look over here at the gnome waving frantically at you! Sheesh.

kids2Regardless, you should fulfill your daily dose of cuteness and check out the slideshow from the Fairy and Gnome Home Festival. Although there’s a bunch of dumb fairy costumes mixed in there (no offense to minors), I’m a big fan of #2, #26, and #30.

Okay now I need to look at ugly things to balance out my day.

Harumph,
Harrison the Gnome

Photo credit: Savannah Now

Vancouver Rivals Iowa for ‘World’s Largest Gnome’ Title!

 

cagnomeWe recently wrote a post about visiting the world’s largest concrete gnome in Ames, Iowa. Well today, we received a news alert about the world’s largest gnome on Vancouver Island.

Wow…”world’s largest” is such a sought-after title, eh?

Take a gander at this Vancouver Sun video about the Canadian giant and see what you think.

cagnome2I guess the bloke’s name is Nanoose Esso and Guinness Book of World’s Records supports him. What a weird ass name.

According to a Metro News article, Nanoose stands 25 feet 11 inches tall. The gnome was built in 1998 by Ron Hale as a mascot for the go cart track he ran on the property. Now it’s a gas station. Nanoose must be really high from all those fumes by now…

Hale built the frame out of scrap metal in his garage, empty bottles, styrofoam, ice cream containers and paper making products from the nearby mill. A junk gnome…what a novel idea!

Looks like we’re heading up north for a visit!

xoxo,
ChumbawambaIGetKnockedDown the Gnome/Turtle

Photo credit: Metro/Handout/Gerry Ilott

Lose Yo’ Weight: Run a Garden Gnome 5K in Oregon!

Not that springtime is well under way, we gnomes need to start losing the lbs.

gnome raceAccording to some weird Oregon newspaper, there’s a 5K that’s made especially for our chubby ceramic legs. And it’s May 5th!

“If you are into both running and sustainability, make sure you get registered for the inaugural Garden Gnome Run, a 10k, 5k, and 1k event held on Sunday, May 5, that supports Benton County youth and sustainable, local food,” Matt Rasmussen writes. “The course itself, while still waiting for a visual map, is described as paved and flat. It will follow the bike path and head through SW Corvallis and Avery and Starker Arts parks. All entrants receive a tomato plant for their garden and a short sleeve tech shirt. ”

tomatoA tomato plant!? SIGN US UP!

Support the CSC Youth Garden, sign up, and get less disgusting!

Your wannabe fitness instructor,
Horace The Gnome

Gnomes Join Forces with Bunnies and Buddhas…at Mormon Church

 

Originally published by By Mike Raptis, The Province March 27, 2013

Everybody has a calling at the Mormon church in Kamloops.

Brian Arnold, a retired, 30-year member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, just didn’t think his own would now involve gnomes, bunnies and Buddhas.

After 68 lawn ornaments were mysteriously placed behind the church some time between Thursday evening and Friday morning, Arnold – who discovered them neatly lined up and arranged from big to small – knew he had a job to do.

“I’m thinking some had sentimental value and sure enough, they did,” he said Tuesday, after fielding a number of calls from perplexed seniors around town.

“I’ve just been running them around to people,” Arnold said.

An 89-year-old woman phoned him about two dogs missing from her lawn. She got them back.

The first lady to come to the church was missing a family heirloom her dad made for her – a small red house – which Arnold found with the rest of the ornaments he has stored away for safekeeping.

“The lady said she had been praying that this would come back to her,” Arnold said. “She was a bit teary-eyed. That makes it all worthwhile.”

Still in his possession are items Arnold thinks may be valuable, such as a copper rooster with individual thin-leaf copper feathers – “lots of neat ones” – he said.

The mystery of who is behind the prank is far from solved.

Police have received the file and have asked their crime analyst to conduct a search of any other reported thefts of lawn ornaments, but there are “absolutely no leads to go on,” said RCMP Staff-Sgt. Grant Learned.

“The way things were placed,” Learned said, “indicates they were nicely placed in a decorative environment, so who knows?”

Arnold mentioned that a woman and her friends had just stopped by to claim a gnome with a blue coat and a red hat.

“Her friend was going to put (a notice) out on a tweet or something. I have no idea, I’m retired. I don’t know what a tweet or Twitter is,” Arnold said.

512px-FLDS_Eldorado_hiYou silly Canadians! It’s no mystery why we gathered together with other religious figures at your church…it’s a spiritual movement! Yes, bunnies are religious too. Haven’t you even gone to a Catholic church at Easter?!

We are pissed that you disturbed our gathering. We gnomes, buddhas, and bunnies were devising a plan to combine all our silly religions into one….led by gnomes of course.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a day on everyone’s busy social calendar to meet for spiritual awakening sessions?

Of course you don’t.

Anyway, I’m re-contacting everyone to reschedule now. So when you see us camped out back with a few of your wives, leave us be.

Muchas gracias.