So I discovered a new gnome band. Amish Meth Lab quartet: watch out.
They’re called Gnome. Plain ‘n’ simple. Just Gnome.
And they’re from Australia, which makes them cooler than you.
This Chelsea chick says their new album, See in Walk, is other-worldly, blissful, euphoric, natural, and tranquil.
That pretty much sums up gnomekind in five adjectives. What more could you want from your beats?
Listen to some good shiznit here.
Signing off ’til the after-party,
DJ Spaghetti Sauce the Gnome
Leave it to the Brits to put gnomes in their sitcoms.
I found myself bored and browsing Netflix last night in search of some comedic relief. After a good amount of scrolling, I settled on a 1970’s British sitcom called Fawlty Towers.
Even if you dislike the concept of laughing, you’ve GOT to watch Season 1, Episode 2. Why? Because there is a gnome in it, you dumb twat!!!
Ahem. The episode is called “The Builders” and it’s mostly about hiring some silly workmen. A delivery guy brings in a 2-foot tall green, yellow, and red gnome that Syil Fawlty had ordered. After a communication breakdown with a Spanish fellow, the gnome almost gets a room for the night at the hotel.
In a violent rage, character Basil Fawlty threatens a workman that he would come over and insert a large garden gnome IN him. Now that’s just vulgar and unnecessary, folks.
Although I cringed throughout the rest of the episode, I am pleased to report that no gnomes seemed to be harmed in the making of this show.
Although we gnomes certainly don’t like to be “inserted” into things, we did enjoy watching our distant British cousin be featured in so many scenes of this episode. Television generally sucks. But it would be a far better place if there were more garden gnomes simply sitting in the background.
Somebody please make that happen.
Lennon the Gnome
I stumbled upon a blog today that discussed gnome groping. I feel that this topic has not yet been addressed the The Drunk Gnome and that is unfortunate.
In the article, some random New Zealand blogger recounted a visit to Christchurch Art Gallery, which is celebrating its 10th anniversary outdoor artwork consisting of gnomes. At first, I was skeptical. “Christchurch” didn’t exactly sound like a place where gnomish spiritual practices would be welcome. However, a browse around their website proved me wrong.
Christchurch Art Gallery calls them “tin men” but these are clearly over-sized gnomes. Sculptor, Gregor Kregar, did such a splendid job….don’t you think?
Anyway, back to the groping.
As our New Zealand blogger friend mentions, gnome groping is not cool. Not without consent, anyway. And never by children.
We have rights too, you know. And feelings. If we want you to grope us, you’ll know.
This is an anti-groping public service announcement for gnomes worldwide. Thank you, New Zealand for reminding us about this important issues. And for building a huge freaking gnome!
DJ Spaghetti Sauce, the gnome
We’re not sure what all the buzz is about, but it seems that Zookwinkle has a side gig!
What the heck is a LAMIGNOME?
This website is far from informative or explanatory, but Zookwinkle is clearly advertising for it. I’ve been trying to corner him all day, and he’s totally dodging me.
Has anyone seen something lamignomish in your neighborhood yet? Some of their messages are dreadfully ominous.
Not the way I wanted to start off my Monday morning…
Horace the Gnome
Even gnomes try to save a buck from time to time. Gardening and looking good don’t exactly pay well, ya know?
With that being said, I was shopping for groceries at Aldi today. Lo and behold, what did I find beyond the mediocre produce section?
For $8.99, you can have your very own discount grocery gnome. Who knew?! In all my days shopping at Aldi, I’ve never seen a gnome. Mad props, grocers….mad props.
Is Aldi scared of being sued is they use the proper term, “gnome”? Garden Figurine? Why be so vague? Aldi employees: feel free to respond in your defense.
Back to my tortellini,
Alfredo the Gnome