UK Man, Ron Broomfield, has 1,700 Gnomes (But No Wife)

Rom Broomfield, now 79 years old, started collecting gnomes 50 years ago. “I was stressed and someone said get a hobby,” Ron explained. “Seven gnomes caught my eye at a garden center so I got them.”

1,700 gnomes later, Ron is still collecting. What a guy!

Photo credit: Simon Ashton via Sunday Mirror

Photo credit: Simon Ashton via Sunday Mirror

People say Ron is weird. But he says that there are much weirder things to collect out there, and that his collection makes him smile.

However, that smile hasn’t gotten him a wife. And neither has the thousands of dollars that he believes his collection to be worth. But Ron has something better than a wife…he has a HAREM.

Ron’s harem consists of five “admirers” that he has lunch with at his gnome cottage in Alford, Lincs once a week. When he’s not busy entertaining the harem, Ron takes his gnomes around in a converted shopping trolley (the gnomemobile) and dresses like a gnome himself.

Photo credit: Simon Ashton via Sunday Mirror

Photo credit: Simon Ashton via Sunday Mirror

If you are blessed enough to have UK television access, check out Ron’s feature on “Excessive and Compulsive Collectors” on December 18th at 8pm on Channel 5.

If anyone defined badass at this very moment, it’s Ron Broomfield. Can we meet you? Can we marry you?

xoxo,
B.S.G.S.G. the MexiGnome

Where to Dress Up Like a Gnome and Drink Beer on Saturday

I won’t hold you in suspense any longer…

It’s Sanford, Florida!

tour-of-gnomes

WHO: Gnomes and humans dressed up like gnomes

WHAT: The 3rd annual Hysterical Tour of Gnomes

WHEN: This Saturday, December 7th from 3-9pm

WHY: Inherently weird people in this Orlando suburb are making fun of the Historic Tour of Homes. According to the Orlando Sentinel, “Instead of strolling through snooty rich people’s houses, revelers on the Tour of Gnomes will stumble through Bad Monkey Tavern (105 W. Second St.),Little Fish Huge Pond (401 S. Sanford Ave.) and three other Sanford bars while dressed as gnomes (or elves, or trolls, or leprechauns — the barkeeps aren’t picky). There will be a costume contest, so sharpen up that pointy hat.”

WHERE: I just typed the addresses above, dum dum.

hysterical-tour-gnomes-34

C’mon people this is a no-brainer. It only costs 10 bucks and you can drink and look like one of us. See ya there?

xoxo,
Ceasar the Florida-bound gnome

Official Gnome Police Report: There’s a Flasher on the Loose!

CASE NO.: 29831 1/2

DATE: December 4, 2013

REPORTING OFFICER: Sgt. SpeakNoGnome

DETAIL OF EVENT: An unidentified gnome wearing little more than heart-shaped boxers was spotted on the corner of Mushroom Lane and Miniature Boulevard this morning at approximately 11:32 am. Said gnome wore a bathroom and opened it to expose an unmentionable atrocity at female gnomes standing around minding their own business.

SUSPECT IN QUESTION: We currently have no leads. A paparazzi photograph is shown below, however, we have no name to place with the….ahem….face. Any information should be directed to www.thedrunkgnome.com or [email protected] A handsome reward may be offered.

flasher

ACTIONS TAKEN: None. I’m still trying to wash the shock and shame from my little gnome eyes.

SUMMARY: There’s a flasher on the loose! No gnome needs to see this. If you can identify this exposed individual, please contact GPD immediately.