Gnomes as Symbols of Polish Anti-Communism Protest!?!

The Orange Alternative is an underground anarchic movement, which was started in 1981 in Wroclaw, located in southwest Poland. Why are we gnomes interested in Polish politics? Well, they’re associating our likeness with a symbol of Polish opposition against communism. 

Fun!

The group’s purpose was has been to conduct peaceful protest by using absurd and nonsensical elements. By all accounts, these “nonsensical elements” have been described as dwarfs – which we’re fine with because frankly, dwarfs really don’t make any sense.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

The Dwarf – the statue of the Orange Alternative symbol at the corner of Świdnicka and Kazimierza Wielkiego streets in Wrocław.

But one recent news story caught our attention because the city of Wroclaw began using GNOMES as a promotional symbol. According to Polskie Radio, “The city has been banned from using the (gnome) symbol as any further part of its promotional activities, and it must apologies to 61-year-old ‘Major’ Waldemar Fydrych, founder of the so-called Orange Alternative.”

Apparently, the city used the symbol of a gnome (vaguely resembling a controversial dwarf) on promotional t-shirts, mugs, and even in a campaign film to become the 2016 European City of Culture. Polish gnomes are so sophisticated!

Clearly, these folks are not gnome experts because in actuality, we have very little in common with the common dwarf. Regardless, humans mix us up all the time, and this particular human decided to cause a ruckus.

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Waldemar Fydrych in Wroclaw. Photo: PAP/Maciej Kulczynski

Fydrych’s Orange Alternative was launched back in 1980 and became popular after the Solidarity Movement was banned. If you ask me, it was the protesters dressed as orange dwarfs (a.k.a. gnomes), mocking the regime through absurd humor and slogans like “Dwarf for President! and “Only dwarfs can save the country!”

So as for the most recent usage of orange gnomes, the Orange Alternative wins and the city of Wroclaw loses. “This case drew a lot of attention, because the town hall is after all an institution of public trust,” Fydrych said. “I hope that there will now be a change in the way people think about copyright law, and how it should be respected.”

And that, my friends, is your Polish gnome news update for the day. Consider yourselves enlightened. You’re welcome.

As reported by,
Cowabunga the Gnome

Let’s Learn a Lil’ Bit About A Band Called Broken Gnome…

It’s common knowledge that gnomes are amazing musicians. Take for example, GnomeThe UnGnomes, The Gnome Addicts, Mr. Gnome and of course our very own Amish Meth Lab.

Well we have a newcomer on the gnome band scene, and they call themselves Broken Gnome.

brokengnome

Photo by Jesse Meisenhelter

In an interview with The Mac Weeklyband members, Will, Dan, Jonas, and Thomas gave us a few insights about their band.

Why are you guys called “The Gnome Home”?

JKY: We’re in a band…

DV: Called Broken Gnome. And we live in a house together.

About their style of music…

JKY: We play Gnome Rock.

WK: It’s Us Rock. Friend Rock.

TL: Will, you’re wearing some really great pants today.

And about their gnome home…

DV: We’re gonna record hopefully as Gnome.

WK: We want to plug GnomeFest. There’s a Facebook page, it’s a public event.

JKY: We did it last year. It’s a music festival—we had nine bands, I think—and we grilled and drank beers and everyone had a good time. There were mosh pits. We’re doing it again this year—it’s on May 10th, a Saturday, starting at 2 or 3.

Hold up, wait a minute. We interrupt this scheduled interview reiteration to do a quick Google search of GnomeFest. 

Searching…

Searching…

Google fail!

We can’t find anything about this alleged gnome event. We did, however, find a May 24th Broadwell Football Club sponsored event called Gnome-Fest. So alright guys, where’s this fest of YOURS happening?

Musically yours in spirit and such,
Starr the Gnome, of Amish Meth Lab

Guest Post From a Human – Only Because It’s About a Pub

As you may have gathered from our most recent post about MORE instances of gnome theft by humans, we’re kind of pissed at all of you. But just like gnomes, not all humans are created equal. Some of you are okay.

One particular human on our “okay” list today is this Alyssa girl. She wrote an article about a gnome pub in Sevierville, Tennessee today. Obviously, we’re a big fan of this place.

Check it out at A Gnome Pub at the Edge of the Smoky Mountains.

front door

Right on, girlfriend. Now make the rest of your species behave!

Have you read any good gnome news or reviews lately? Hit us up!

Moo,
Benjamin the Gnome

Humans Assumed Responsible for Even More Missing Gnomes in Australia

Why do you humans keep disrupting our lives? WHY?!

Are you sick and tired of reading “missing gnome” posts on our blog? Well we’re tired of going missing! Ever think about that? Hmm?

We know we’re adorable. We know we made a good stiff drink. However, there has yet to be even a single documented case of human kidnapping at the hands of gnomes. We only ask that you return the simple favor.

A hand-carved wooden gnome went missing just 17 days after it was placed at Gnomesville, a popular tourist destination in Ferguson Valley. This is in Australia for those of you who are geographically challenged.

gnomesville

Gnomesville has thousands of gnomes who have left their gardens to be a part of something bigger…something magnificent. Legend has it that a long, long time ago, a Gnome was travelling on an Australian country road. It was at night and far from anywhere. All around was leafy and green. A pleasant place. He stayed a while. And another while. Other Gnomes passed and visited, and many stayed. Word passed around.

Anyway, back to the atrocity.

A dude hand-carved a wood spirit gnome for Gnomeville visitors to admire and enjoy. Then some asshole snatched him. WTF mate?!

woodspirit

“The piece of jarrah wood is about one metre long so wouldn’t have been easy to move,” wrote the carver’s daughter, Clair Bedford. “I can only hope that the thief or thieves are able to see sense and return him to his rightful place, under cover of darkness if necessary.”

Have you seen this carving in some jerk’s backyard? If so, contact the Bunbury Newspaper [email protected] This madness has gone on long enough. For the most part, you all get to choose where you want to live. Let us choose our gnome homes too.

Or else.

Signed,
Humps the Bouncer Gnome

Naughty Knitted Gnomes: Coming to a Neighborhood Near You

Gnomes and crafts kinda sorta go hand-in-hand. Wouldn’t you agree?

One group of knitters in the UK have been knitting up naughty gnomes and strategically placing them in the gardens at the Sunnyfield House Community Center. But these are no ordinary gnomes…these are badass gnomes!

gno1

Some of them are mooning each other, some are karate chopping each other’s heads off, and others are wearing (gasp!) thongs. Clearly, the Guisborough Knitwits are my kind of crafters!

gno2

Apparently, one of the group’s members found a gnome pattern and the other members began interpreting it in different ways, creating super unique gnomes that blew everyone’s mind.

knit2

We Drunk Gnomes think these knitted gnomes are awesome, and although our craft skills are undoubtedly sub-par, we still wanna get our hands on that knitting pattern. So after a little online stalking, I uncovered the Guisborough Knitwits Facebook page. Success!

A creepy stranger message has been sent out into the void in hopes of gaining access to this underground naughty knitted gnome world. Fingers crossed!

xoxo,
Tabitha the Gnome

Photo credit: Guisborough Knitwits