Konichiwa, my beautiful spirits of plastic and ash. May the peace in the nooks and crannies of my soul entangle itself throughout your intestines and regurgitate out something pure and original to be cherished. Leave behind your crumpled existences and squandered developments. Take my rotting wooden hand. I will lead you toward the blinding light, which spins in the shape of parallelograms.
You may not have been aware of this before, but I am The Gnome Abode’s resident car nut. I recently hitch hiked to the National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky.
Since 1953 the Corvette has been America’s Sports Car. The National Corvette Museum was established as a 501(c)3 not-for-profit foundation with a mission of celebrating the invention of the Corvette; preserving its past, present and future; and educating the public about Corvette.
Corvette enthusiasts from all over the world kindly and lovingly refer to the NCM as their home … Their Mecca.
We welcome you to our Corvette world on the Internet. Our website will give you some feeling of visiting the Museum, but just as exhibits and displays change within the Museum, you will continuously see enhancements to our website. We will strive to become the resource center that Corvette enthusiasts world-wide want and deserve. We invite you to visit and revisit our website often.
We especially invite you to visit us in person (in Bowling Green, KY) and experience first hand the passion and the excitement of America’s Sports Car, the Chevrolet Corvette.The GM Bowling Green Corvette Assembly Plant, the only place in the world where Corvettes are made, is located across the street from the National Corvette Musuem at I-65, exit 28.
Again, welcome to the National Corvette Museum website and thanks for the visit.
Wendell K. Strode Executive Director
Check out the pics I made strangers take of me with these badass cars! What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on one of these to bring back home…
I always thought I’d look great in a red Vette.
I’m also a sucker for retro models.Who wants to help me set up a fundraising campaign to get us gnomes our very own sports car? Who’s with me? Who? Anyone? C’mon gnomies!
Cowabunga “the wannabe race car driver” Gnome
Wondering where we’ve been the last couple days? Well, we’re drunk gnomes. Where do you think we’ve been?
The last few days have been a blur for pretty much all of us. Personally, the last thing I remember was hanging out with some ole’ chap named Peso. He was a monkey. Or at least looked like a monkey with my blurred vision.
I always thought Mexican monkeys would like tequila, but that dude could throw back 8% beers like nobody’s business. We were at a brew pub in Nashville, watching the chaos of the street fest from a comfy window booth.
There was this big music bash in the street that was pretty fun. Just to give you a better idea of the shenanigans, some strangers posted a bunch of pictures….check ’em out!
Typing is making me seriously dizzy. I gotta go hurl, sorry.
If any other gnomes out there are in better shape than me, please feel free to post something clever and witty. We hope to be back to our regularly scheduled programing by tomorrow. Hopefully.
Whirling n’ hurling,
Cowabunga, Certified Party Gnome
Gnomes like to nap. There’s no freaking doubt about it.
Look at this particular slacker in The Gnome Abode…
And then there’s this guy…
He sleeps sitting up. WTF?!
But out of all these slackers, I’d have to say that this dude is one of the laziest *&%*@ I’ve ever met….
I thought I was the only one who had noticed this phenomenon of laziness. That was until I saw a sign. Yeah sing your Ace of Base. You know you wanna.
Apparently, Hobby Lobby sells signs that indicate that gnomes are sleeping. A big shout out to Gnome Scout, Janet, for this groundbreaking gnome sighting.
On one hand (and yes, at this moment I’m speaking for all gnomekind) we can appreciate the type of privacy that a “Do Not Disturb” sign at the Motel 6 can provide. On the other hand (no I’m not sure which is left and which is right, so don’t even ask me) we don’t like the public disclosure that we are not on our toes at all times….ready to pounce…..ready to attack!
The Gnome Army doesn’t post a sign saying that they’re taking a day off to go to the beach and flirt with Hottie McGoo’s. So why should us regular folks advertise to our adversarial gnomes that we have let our guard down. Unless we can use this to our advantage and confuse our adversarials.
Wow I’m drunk. This 9% homebrew really hits you after #4. What was I talking about? I just liked looking at the pictures.
Sunday’s concert rocked so hard that I’m just now starting to get my hearing back! Actually, I just got out of the hospital this morning for complications due to hearing loss….hence the delay in my review.
I was one of the lucky ones to get a telepathic message through to the lead singer, McCartney, and get my hands on those backstage passes.
I can’t remember the name of the opening band because I was already pretty high off the fumes floating around by this point (and who ever really remembers the openers anyway). They weren’t all that great but they were totally cool dudes and now I’m Facebook friends with all of those guys.
I tried to take get some pics of Amish Meth Lab during their performance, but I was so freaking pumped….head banging in the mosh pit with the best of ’em….that all my shots kinda suck. Throw your gnome hands in the air! WHOOP WHOOP! But if anyone out there got some good pics, send ’em my way, por favor. There was some slutty girl in a red leather mini skirt hanging out behind he stage too, so I’m wondering if she got any good pics or if she was just there to hook up with the band. I think she said her name was Roxy.
In my opinion, AML’s best performance was the song “Beard of Drool”. God, that reggae beat was a great switch-up from the hardcore heavy metal classics. Don’t get me wrong, those were awesome! I got stabbed in the eye by a mohawk and three of my toes got broken. Now THAT is what I call a good show.
Since I’m broke as hell, I couldn’t afford anything at their merch table. However, I did manage to steal a copy of their set list off of the side of the stage! I’m totally putting this stapling this to the side of The Gnome Abode when I learn how to walk again with these prosthetic toes.
Lennon announced at the end of the show that the band’s tour van was headed east and to keep up with their blog for upcoming tour dates and locations. Wherever it is, whenever it is…I’ll be there. I’m not sure if my hearing will ever come back or if I will regain sight in my eye from the mohawk incident, but it was totally worth it.
As you well know, gnomes are crafty lil’ bastards. I like to think I’m the craftiest of us all. I am a free spirit. I blow where the wind takes me. I create works of art to bring smiles to strangers faces and to keep my wallet full enough to travel from one destination to the next.
An acquaintance gnome I met at pottery class sent me a video about how to make your own earrings! Check it out!
After hours of stabbing myself with pliers too large for my tiny hands and getting burned on on metal welding thing-a-majigs that are scary as shit….I have created my first pair of earrings! Eat your heart out, Juicy Couture.
Yes they are gnomes holding lanterns!
No, I don’t have my ears pierced. But that leads me to my next project for this afternoon…..self-piercing! Anyone want to come over and be my guinea-gnome? I’m sure they’ll look almost as amazing on you as they do on me.