Warning: Gnomes Cause Vehicular Damage

BREAKING NEWS:

A parked car in Wesley Close, Charmouth, was damaged by a garden gnome when the heavy concrete ornament was placed on the vehicle’s roof.

Last Sunday, a black Citroen DS3 fell victim to a gnome who was ON A RAMPAGE.

Photo credit: Big Kid Small City

The unidentified gnome smashed in the car’s rear windscreen and offside rear window. British people are so weird….what the heck are those car parts?! In America, we just call ’em all windows.

Anyway.

Gnomes like this give us a bad reputation. If you have any information as to where this gnome is from, what his name is, or what his deal is, you might want to call the police. Apparently, the shit went down on 2/23/14 between 1:30 am and 2 am. Get your facts straight and no blackmailing, okay?

P.S. – The crime reference number isĀ 007708.

Your local law enforcer,
SpeakNoGnome, the gnome

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