I went drunk bowling other night. Yes, of course gnomes bowl. Don’t be silly.
I actually have my own shoes (because alleys tend to only carry human sizes) and I’m saving up for my own ball. Bowling balls are expensive. Lately, I’ve been using a nectarine.
But be honest. We all really know that bowling is about the cheap beer.
But, I digress.
Don’t worry, I’ll tell you more about my bowling career soon. I’m getting better and I even bowled a 18 my last frame….double digits, baby!!!
After wowing everyone’s socks off with that 18, I decided to end on a good note and head home. I was staggering a bit, but nearly to my bus stop when I caught of a glimpse of something huge…and magnificent.
A huge gnome in a grocery store!
This sucka was nearly 3-foot tall (if my drunken measurement estimations are anywhere near accurate) and he was holding a sign that was turned away.
The tiny store was called A&L Grocer and for those of you in the Chicago area, it’s located on Addison between Hamilton and Leavitt. See look, they even get 3.5 stars on Yelp!
Most unfortunately, the store was closed at that ungodly time of night. Just like momma always said, “nothing good happens after dark!”
But momma was wrong, because this gnome sighting did!
The whole point is that gnomes this big are very rare to find. Where did he come from? What’s his name? And how did he get hooked up with a grocery store gig?
I suppose another trip to A&L during business hours is in order to find out the answers to these very important questions. TO…BE…CONTINUED…
Sincerely,
Dumblebore the Gnome