Now that The Gnome Abode is finally back to a point of stability after the brutal takeover of the evil St. Bastille Day (whose birthday is this Saturday! Everyone be sure to send presents!), I can finally post about my recent Wisconsin vacation. As you may recall, I won the lottery to accompany Gnomeplaya and Gnomecow on a magical journey to Devil’s Lake. Oooooo…sounds scary….I know.

We stayed at the Wheeler Campground, which was awesome. The owners were awesome, the camp store was awesome, the shower facilities were awesome, and the secluded woodsy campsite was awesome. Need I explain any more awesomeness!

I did have to share my tent with the monkeys: Happy, Fatty, and Nappy. Fatty was actually “acquired” on this Wisconsin trip at a magical place called Wal-Mart. Nappy was born there too. They must be distantly related somehow. I dont’ really get monkey genetics. Irregardlessly, the monkeys are alright folk. They get annoying from time to time, but overall they are excellent playmates.

Gnomeplaya and Gnomecow went on a rock climbing adventure, which I promptly declined to join. A fat, sleepy gnome climbing rocks? No thank you. I demanded wheelbarrow transport from one destination to another.

I did decide to join the others on a horseback riding adventure. Look at me in the saddle! Who knew that gnomes and horses could get along?! I plan to write up a pitch to The Gnome Abode Board of Directors to petition for a pet horse. I really think it would boost morale for all of us.

Horses’ asses are pretty soft too. I never fell off even once!

More reluctantly, I joined the others on a canoe/fishing trip. I brought along some Swedish Fish for bait. Hysterical laughter ensued.  No fish were caught. And this will likely be my first and last fishing trip. Don’t think I didn’t hear about what happened to Seamus! That poor bastard and his lack of feet. Sigh.

Fortunately, the trip ended with my favorite part of traveling….BOOZE! Look at me here with a craft beer sampler platter.from Water Street Brewery in Milwaukee, Wisconsin: http://www.waterstreetbrewery.com/

Sampler platters are the BEST because I don’t have to make up my mind and the glasses are gnome-sized. I was eh so-so about all the beers I tasted here. Nothing was significant and nothing stuck in my memory as being amazing (see above reference to Wheeler Campground for a good definition of amazing).

I felt very welcome in Wisconsin….the tents, the monkeys, the horses, the Swedish fish, and the mediocre beer.

This was my first out-of-state trip EVER! Seamus will be so jealous and Sheldon won’t give a fuck b/c he’s probably doing something way more amazing and we all hate him.

Peace out,

Maurice The Gnome