Today’s Gnome Workout! – Start today in a healthy way with our health & fitness coach!


It’s Monday morning, you lazy sons of bitches!

Shake that pixie dust outta your eyes ‘cuz it’s time to EXERCISE!


    • GOAL: Lose gnome fat
    • WORKOUT TYPE: Full gnome body
    • TRAINING LEVEL: Hardcore
    • EQUIPMENT: Bike, shoes, swimwear
    • TARGET GENDER: Male and female


    • CIRCUIT#1: BIKE 40 MILES. Pedal, pedal, pedal like you’re being chased by an evil troll. You never know when this will actually happen.
    • CIRCUIT #2: WEIGHTLIFTING! If you don’t push that bar above your head it will smash you. I suggest pushing up that bar.
  • Circuit #3: Swimming. May I suggest swimming in beer for extra motivation!?

Sweatin’ to the oldies,
Rj Simmons, Jr. The Heath & Fitness Coach Gnome

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