Beer Sampler Trays are the Universe’s Gift to Gnomekind

Tonight I decided to get off my lazy ass and do something on a Friday night. I know…weird, right?! My ass moving destination was the liquor store. I figure…what better excuse to get out of the house than to go out and buy something that will keep me in the house! Goddamn I love logic.

Well I missed the driveway to get into Binny’s. Then I accidentally ran a red light. The I kinda sorta sideswiped this orange jeep. So I kept driving. And driving. And driving. Next thing I know, I’m in Holland, Michigan.

Holy hell there’s a brewery here! Well fancy my pants and shiver my timbers!

I was handed a sampler tray menu by a man in a beard. So many magnificent choices! After much deliberation and sneezing, I made my touch decisions and this beautiful thing arrived at my table-for-one. If you have really awesome eyesight, you can totally read the comments I made by each of the six beers I chose. If you’re blind as a bat (are bats really blind? Must Google it), I will report my brief initial reactions to you in some sort of logical manner.

1. Full Circle kolsch-style beer – More flavor than normal kolsch beers. Not too sweet.

2. Mad Hatter IPA – Not as hoppy as most IPAs. But I still hate IPAs. Very malty.

3. Sundog Amber Ale – A lot going on. Flavors galore. A lot of carbonation.

4. Cabin Fever Brown Ale – Roast-like flavor. Similar to New Castle, but more flavor. Not as heavy as a stout. Slightly smoky.

5. Dragon’s Milk Ale Aged in Oak Barrels – Milky and dessert like brew. Could only have one. Very smooth and creamy.

6. Night Tripper Imperial Stout – Several layers and a lot going on. Bitter aftertaste. Similar to The Beast at the Avery Brewery in Colorado, not less flavor and alcohol content than that.

Overall, I think New Holland Brewery is an excellent place and I recommend stopping by the next time you find yourself needing to get out of the house.