Once upon a time, in a magical land of Canadian beer…


Zooks here. I was flipping through some photos from my most recent adventure today and was reminded some of the most beautiful things in life. Like Canadian beer!

Here’s a shot of Peso and I at the Granville Island Brewery. He was perpetually wasted at this point in the trip so I figure that I should be the one to tell about our tasting experience.

They call this a tasting map but call me crazy, I don’t think it looks like a map at all. Whatever, let’s drink!

Pale Ale – Eh, standard. I could take it or leave it. Not that I don’t like white people. I mean, they’re okay I guess.

Hereweizen – Always enjoyable, but again pretty standard. Is a heffer like a fat cow or something? Or a fat woman? Will someone please fill me in on the origin of this weird German word?

Island Lager – Okay sure, it’s kinda sorta an island, but it’s not like there’s hula girls brushing their hula skirts up against you when you drink this.

Maple Cream Ale – What an original Canadian concept! It was good, but not quite as good as I had hoped for. Smooth and creamy for sure. Screw those meal replacement health nut bars….I’ll replace my meals with a stash of these!

Honey Lager – I was worried there would be bees inside but there weren’t so I give this 3.5 out of 5 stars. Points were deducted due to fear and loathing.

Raspberry Ale – Light and fruity, as it should be. I’m embarrassed to say that I like fruity beers, but I do….so screw you all.

Ginger Beer – My favorite by far! And not to be confused with ‘ginger ale’ because that has no alcohol, and that is lame. Definitely a unique idea and a refreshing ginger-ish taste. Not too overpowering, but just enough of a hint of ginger to send me to the sushi bar.

Brockton IPA – I’m never a fan of IPAs but this one was actually drinkable. It was at this time I decided that I should drink IPAs when I am trying to not get drunk. Then I tried to come up with scenarios when I wouldn’t want to get drunk and I couldn’t think of any.

¬†And now….a few observations about the brewery!

  • They only allow you to order one pint or three samples of beer. WHAT THE HELL?! That’s nothing for seasoned liver destroyers like myself! Sure, the island is pretty family friendly, but that’s even MORE of a reason for a steady beer flow. Lighten up guys, sheesh.
  • All of the beers have low alcohol content. Another questionable move. See above observation for relevant suggestion.
  • All of the beers were super drinkable. GULP.
  • The brewery is set up more like a tasting room, with only minimal snack options but ample seating for your one-beer stop n’ chat.
  • People in Canada in freaking friendly!

Cheers and chug-a-lug!
Zookwinkle The Gnome

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About Zookwinkle


My name Zookwinkle, and although I am most certainly a gnome, I sometimes mistaken for a leprechaun. Okay fine, so my skin tone is kind of green….it’s a medical condition and I’m seeking dermatology treatment SO LAY OFF! I am a true romantic at heart and love to give flowers and kisses to lady gnomes on the rare occasion I actually see one. And on the even rarer occasion that I get laid.

1 thought on “Once upon a time, in a magical land of Canadian beer…

  1. Pingback: Gnomes and Nude Canada Beaches | The Drunk Gnome

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