Happy Friday, gnome fans!
Before you get drunk and more stupid than you usually are, allow me to school you for just one brief moment. Today’s “Gnome Literature Series” focuses on two things that have nothing in common besides alliteration….toadstools and technology.
Exhibit A:
The Cliff’s Notes
- Gnomes use toadstools for seats, umbrellas, houses, and photocopies.
- Gnomes compensate toadstools by keeping them clean and sharing food with them.
- It is still a mystery whether gnomes choose to reside near toadstools or whether toadstools just naturally grown near gnomes.
Exhibit B:
The Cliff’s Notes
- Gnomes hate MP3 players (do humans even still use these?), laptops, and electric can openers.
- Gnomes approve the use of automatic pointy hat starchers, which are powered by natural streams or magic, or batteries.
Okay, you’re less dumb now. Go drink yourself stupid.
Tootaloo,
The Quick Brown Fox