Massive Pharmaceutical Company Adopts Gnome as Mascot

Although we don’t have many swimsuit-wearing gnomes around The Abode, we’re well aware of the famous mankini gnome.

Although this isn’t exactly NEW news, we just learned that the infamous mankini gnome is being used as a mascot for the human pharmaceutical industry. All I have to say about that is WFT?!?

mankini rghtside--371x247

The Boston Globe reported that Johnson & Johnson is using a mankini gnome to travel around as a mascot/trophy to a bunch of so-called innovation centers. This “trophy” is given to the center who was the most innovative last quarter.

LAME.

They think a captured gnome held against his will (in scantily clad attire) will get their employees to be in the “right mindset.” Praytell, exactly WHAT kinda mindset is that?

Hey major corporation, we are a small blog run by gnomes. But you’re clearly benefiting from our presence, so we kindly request your response to this post. Please explain what sort of mindset this poor, defenseless gnome is giving your employees. And stop calling us trophies! Truth be told, we’re pretty good at accounting.

And please send some Q-tips. We’ve run out.

And baby shampoo. The young gnomes’ eyes are burning.

Thanks!

Lennon the Gnome

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About Lennon

Make soil, not dirt. Make flowers, not weeds. Make weed, not ditch weed.

My fans always ask me how I put up with that arrogant bastard, McCartney. My answer to them is that every day is an gift to be experienced and to learn from. The more uptight he gets, the defiant I get. The more bossy he gets, the more rebellious I get. He and I have a dynamic that I’m only beginning to understand. I need to go meditate on that for a few hours.

Oh yeah and there’s the other guys too. They’re cool.

I love playing the trumpet because I feel that using my lips so much every day will make me the greatest kisser of all time. Gnomes never thought that trumpets could play reggae, but I have shown them they’re wrong.

I love you all and hope all you fans come to our first show on April 1st! I am not opposed to signing bras, boobs, and any other lady parts that might be flashed at me.

Harmony of the whales,

Lennon The Gnome

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