Allow me to introduce myself. My name is McCartney and I am most pleased to make your acquaintance.

As a world-renown English musician, singer-songwriter and composer, I am listed in the Guinness World Records as the “most successful musician and composer in popular gnome music history”, with 60 gold disks and sales of 100 million singles in the United Kingdom alone.

I am the founder and backbone of Amish Meth Lab. I am the responsible one who schedules band practices and gets books all our gigs. Without me, those other jackoffs would still be playing in my ex-girlfriend’s basement. I have mastered every instrument that a gnome is capable of holding. However, my most recent passion is singing and conducting with a magical wand of “pixie” dust. A sprinkling of “pixie” dust is emitted from the tip of the magical wand, and suddenly our audiences love us!

Peace, love, and rock & roll,

McCartney The Gnome