Gnomes tend to be lovers, not fighters. But sometimes, we are called on to defend ourselves and the liberties of all gnomekind. We may be small, but we know how to kick you in the shin and give you a hearty dose of name-calling.
So here’s a shout out to all gnome veterans who have proudly served The Gnome Abode in times of peace, war, and drunken stupors.
These brave dude and lady gnomes have carried heavy ceramic guns, even when their weary, miniature arms would rather be double-fisting bottles of rum.
These righteous soldier gnomes have worn camouflage even when it looks terrible with their skin tones.
And these hardcore badasses have kept our fortresses full of liquor, no matter what the cost.
So here’s to you, gnome soldiers! May you continue to fight so we can drink!
We salute you. Cheers!
Your Majesty,
King Jerry the Gnome