The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

The Drunk Gnome

GNOME-NAPPING ALERT! Hide yo wives! Hide yo kids!

Parental discretion advised….

On the evening of Cinco de Mayo, 2012, a miscellaneous gnome who had a few too many margaritas (on the rocks with salt) mysteriously disappeared. Foul play is suspected.

The aforementioned missing gnome goes by the name, AguaMelón. He’s a tiny son-of-a gun and holds residence inside the glove compartment of a Mexican watermelon truck, where he was works as the chief salesman of over-sized fruit.

Around 10:04pm CST, AguaMelón was spotted with this gentleman, who we shall refer to as SUSPECT #1.

SUSPECT #1 appeared to be under the influence of some type of mind-altering liquid substance, as proven hear by the holding of a most suspicious blue cup. The identity of SUSPECT #1 has not yet been revealed to the public.

Later that evening, AguaMelón was spotted with this overly-Jubilant gentleman, who we shall refer to as SUSPECT #2.

Although no proof of intoxication has surfaced, it is clear that SUSPECT #2 is wearing a disguise because really….who has a mustache that really looks like that?

Some officers in the Gnome Police Department (GPD) have developed a controversial theory. Their theory states that neither SUSPECT #1 nor SUSPECT #2 are likely to be the gnomenapper of AguaMelón.

Take notice of the hand holding AguaMelón in each of these two photographs. It’s the same hand! Wearing the same sleeve! This hand shall be referred to as SUSPECT #3.

If anyone out there has any information on the owner of this hand, you are encouraged to contact the GPD immediately at 1-900-GPD-YEAH.

 

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