Scandalous Past of Tabitha The Gnome…REVEALED!

You may recall some recent posts from that gnome bitch, Tabitha, about getting a restraining order against me and planning her marriage to Jerry. Well I’m not the kind of gnome that goes down without a fight.

She thinks she can do better than me?! She thinks she’s gonna be Gnome Queen?! She’s got another thing coming to her.

Through unrevealed sources, I have located a copy of Tabitha’s medical records that show she underwent head transplant surgery just one month before moving to The Gnome Abode.

HEAD TRANSPLANT SURGERY?!

WHAT THE HECK WAS WRONG WITH HER PREVIOUS HEAD?!

HOW UGLY IS SHE, REALLY?!?

It appears that she has since tampered with her medical records, because there are no photos of her previous head, nor of the actual procedure. However, such photos could not have simply disappeared into thin air and I am damn well determined to find them!

Post-surgical photos were included in her file though. Apparently, this procedure was performed by a MONKEY, in the depths of the jungle….assumedly so that no one would ever find out about this freakish ordeal!

I Googled this supposed “doctor” (who goes by the name Happy Go Lucky) and cannot find any records of him obtaining a medical degree at all. Apparently, he specializes in bringing things back from the dead. Shown here is a photograph I uncovered of “Doctor” Lucky with one of his living-dead surgical patients.

Who IS Tabitha The Gnome? I hope that this post puts as many questions in your mind as it puts in mind….espeically when she attempts to ascend the throne of gnomish society.

Hugs & kisses,

*The Book of Genesis, Aspiring Gnome Detective*

P.S. – Jerry! Are you reading this? WTF?! Call me!

2 thoughts on “Scandalous Past of Tabitha The Gnome…REVEALED!

  1. We are monkeys, hooray!

    I am Happy Nappy the Monkey and I can say that Happy Go Lucky is the best surgeon in the world! He is great with epoxy and all sorts of glues, hooray! And he doesn’t work in a forest, although he wishes he did. And he does NOT bring back people from the dead!! He made a new friend in Sir Blueberry Muffin, who happens to be a fellow surgeon. Mr. Muffin solely operates on skeletons and zombies… hooray?

  2. My sincere apologies, Mr. Nappy. You should probably have your buddy look into who is trying to ruin his medical reputation on the interweb….there’s some libelous stuff out there! I’m still suspicious of the skeleton dude, but that is neither here nor there.

    Perpahs you would like to be an official informant for my investigation? Doen’t that sound fun! Call me….let’s do lunch!

    Sincerely,
    The Book of Genesis, The Gnome

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