The Drunk Gnome Is Shutting Down

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APRIL FREAKING FOOLS!

Think you’re gonna get rid of us that easy? Heh. You hooligans got another thing coming.

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Happy April 1st from the magnificent highways of Southern Wisconsin!

P.S. – No, I’m not pregnant…no matter what the other jokester gnomes try to tell you.

P.P.S. – The hammocks in that calendar photo look mighty swell. Anyone know where I can pick one up that’s my size?

xoxo,
Phillip the Gnome

This entry was posted in Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings by Phillip. Bookmark the permalink.

About Phillip

DISCLAIMER: Due to numerous discrimination lawsuits filed against us, we were court-ordered to include Phillip in our blog. Phillip is adamantly opposed to all forms of alcohol and debauchery.

He works a 9-5 job pushing papers around. Rumor has it that he’s an accountant in Pittsburgh, but when you ask him directly, he is never able to provide a clear answer as to what he does for a living. He refuses to wear anything except three-piece suits, and we had to roofie him to stuff him into this traditional gnome outfit for his profile picture.

We welcome you to send Phillip as much hate mail as possible.

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