The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

The Drunk Gnome

Gnome Tarot Card Reading of the Day

 

In case you forgot, we gnomes are big believers in the tarot. Our master medium and sorceress, The Lady of Mt. Goom, performs a tarot card reading each morning for the residents of the Gnome Abode.

While Ms. Goom will perform individual gnomes who seek out her counsel (and pay a pretty penny), she provides this one group reading, which will apply to the lives of all residents, as a public service. Today she provided us with the Wheel Spread.

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She flipped the cards over and they landed like this:

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The card in the #1 position was the 5 of wands. In a reading, this card means that others want what you want and the contest is likely to be exciting and heated, filled with action and rivalry.

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The card in the #2 position was the chariot card. This card exemplifies the hero’s journey and represents ambition, determination and youthful journey.

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The card in the #3 position was 8 of wands. This card marks the end of a period of stagnation and delay, the reaching of a goal, and plans nearing completion.

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The card in the #4 position was the 7 of pentacles.This card indicates that hard work is about to pay off financially and it’s time to reevaluate goals, dreams, relationships, etc.

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And the card in the #5 position was the justice card. This card indicates that legal problems will wane and a judgement is in favor.

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As a self-proclaimed professional tarot read-ee, I interpret this reading to mean the following for me personally:

Everyone is super jealous of me because I’m so beautiful and talented. The other lady gnomes will do whatever it takes to bring me down. I am a heroine in my own right and fighting the good fight for what is true and good in this abode. I don’t realize it yet, but I am very close to reaching my goal and moving on to my next business venture. This next venture is going to make me filthy stinking rich and the people around me aren’t going to good enough to hang out with anymore. All those pesky lawsuits filed against me for theft, deceit, and general scamming will be wiped from the books once I have enough money to pay off the authorities and I’ll live happily ever after!

xoxo,
Roxy the Gnome

This entry was posted in Secrets of a Slutty Girl Gnome by Roxy. Bookmark the permalink.

About Roxy

So whaddya think of my tits? C’mon. I’m the only girl gnome in this whole bunch. How could I NOT be a slut? I would certainly welcome other gnome girlfriends but I yet to find a single one. If you see one hookin’ a street corner, send her my way, eh? I stay out too late, I drink too much, and I find myself in sketchy situations on a daily basis. But you’ll love the stories that come out of it, cross my tits. 

XOXO

Roxy

 

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