Dear Maurice,
I couldn’t help but notice your recent blog post about being invited to tag along on this weekend’s Devil’s Lake trip. I also couldn’t help but gag up the burrito that I had for lunch because this is complete bullshit.
I am outdoorsy, I am adventurous, and I have a goddamn fishing pole! Okay fine, so maybe I didn’t get my application submitted on time to join this trip. But that doesn’t make you the least bit qualified for an outdoor excursion.
Your brothers are so much cooler than you are, you lazy good for nothing bum.
We are in a fight. This means war. When you get back, you’d better watch your back, because you’re just jumped to number 1 on my shit list.
Hatefully yours,
Sketchy Andy The Gnome Who Should be Going to Devil’s Lake
Hey Raggedy Andy, you better watch yourself. Don’t pick a fight with a drunk homeless gnome. I’ll slap you like a weasel eating a fig newton bar. Yeah, that’s right bitch, scratch your head and figure that one out…