Bike for the (Gnome) Gold!

Some bikers bike for trophies. Others for glory. And still others for GNOMES.

Leave it to Western Australia to come up with a bike race where the prizes are golden versions of us. Australians are always good for a lil’ gnomish jaunt.

South West Cyclists get together on September 8th in Dardanup to compete for the coveted Golden Gnome. It’s called  in the Livelighter Dardanup Tour. And apparently there’s a a bunch of gnomes going out as prizes to make people who suck at biking feel a little better too.

cyclingI’ll admit, these little golden guys are pretty badass. However, it does beg the question…should gnomes really be considered trophies?

I mean, you’re a human, right? How would you like it if we hosted a little foot race and gave YOU out as a prize?

You do realize that each one of those golden gnomes had a life of his own before being assigned as you trophy?

But I won’t dwell on it. Well, maybe I already have. News stories like this make me feel torn. One one hand, the bike race is promoting the gnomish spirit of good luck and good cheer to people otherwise unfamiliar with our awesomeness. On the other hand, it is perpetuating the misconception that gnomes are things and not beings. 

I’ll leave you with this: cyclists treat your gnomes well. If your weird human legs can peddle faster than the others, then consider yourself endowed with a responsibility to become a faithful and true gnome guardian. I am trusting that since you like the outdoors enough to bike in it, that you’ll also spend an ample time outdoors with your new golden friend.

Happy biking!
Caesar the Gnome

 

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About Caesar

I’m that weird guy in your office who seems to need an IV drip of coffee at all times to function at a normal gnome-like level. Everyone always thinks I must an overworked insomniac and could also really use a shower.

Then one day I try to make out with you in the supply closet. My breath reeks of Bailey’s Irish Cream Liquor! It all makes sense to you now! I’ve never been drinking coffee at all! So you let me make out with you. Eh, why not? You’e probably had worse.

I contribute occasionally in the ‘Gnome Brew Review’ Category. I’m opinionated, sneaky, and like to be handled (wink wink).

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