The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

The Drunk Gnome

Just another standard Saturday afternoon of hookah smoking, vodka drinking, oil painting, and Velcro ball playing with my rabbit sidekick in the park

Just another standard Saturday afternoon of hookah smoking, vodka drinking, oil painting, and Velcro ball playing with my rabbit sidekick in the park. Usually Drumsticks (yeah that’s my rabbit) and I do our own thing and totally enjoy escaping the chaos of The Gnome Abode. However, today Drumsticks and I made a few friends along the way.

I heard a “pssssstttt!” from the bushes. I took another puff and dipped by brush in the water bowl. “Pssssttt!” There it was again. I secured my wallet and phone in my back pockets just to play it safe, and cautiously walked towards the “pssssttt’ing” bush. I pushed a couple branches aside and this is what I found…

A home-brew gnome! I’ve heard of gnomes that have magical beer-making powers, but I’ve never actually met one! This dude had frothy brews, hoppy brews, fruity brews…you name it! Apparently he just signed a lease to open his own brewery in an abandoned warehouse on Porter Street.

Dude said his name was Cassius and offered me a sampler platter, to which I certainly did not deny! My favorite was definitely the Mushroom Stem Brown Ale. I can’t exactly remember why, but I know there was something good in there.

I took Cassius’ business card and rode Drumsticks away just before sunset and just before I overstayed my “we just met” welcome. I found myself wandering through the park, staring at leaves and seeing their colors like they’d never been seen before.

Since I wasn’t exactly watching where I was going, I accidently walked into a baseball game. I didn’t even know I walked into a game until a foul ball knocked Drumsticks right out from under me. I’m sure he’ll be okay. That touch ole’ bugga.

I thought theses dudes were gonna be way pissed. They looked super professional and stuff.

Much to my surprise, they stopped their game to come introduce themselves. Apparently their center fielder had suffered a chipped foot injury and they were down a man. They circled around me and began to peer-pressure me to step in to be the replacement.

Baseball is intense. the balls come fast and the gloves are made of animals, much like Drumsticks. I much prefer the slow-paced vibe of Velcro mitt ball and I wanted to bail, but I wasn’t sure how my exit strategy would go.

So I ran. And I ran. And I ran ’til I could run no more.

I’m back at The Gnome Abode somehow and the effects of Cassius’ special edition home-brew are long worn off. Maybe I’ll make some cookies.

Peace out,

Pablo The Gnome

This entry was posted in Gnome Art, Gnome Brew Review by Pablo. Bookmark the permalink.

About Pablo

Just because I mutter incomprehensible and disjointed random shit under my breath from time to time, the other gnomes are trying to get me institutionalized. I ride a bunny rabbit around the yard because I’ve decided that feet are unnecessary. Bunny rabbits make better friends than gnomes anyway and they’re way softer. Ooo! Sparkles!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Page not found - Sweet Captcha
Error 404

It look like the page you're looking for doesn't exist, sorry

Search stories by typing keyword and hit enter to begin searching.


Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: