Gnomes and Smoking


The National Institutes of Health go on and on about how smoking is bad for humans. Although it might be logically deduced that smoking is also bad for gnomes, there have been no scientific studies to prove it.

Since the earliest recorded evidence of gnomish history, gnomes have been smoking various things from pipes. Pipe smoking has developed into a way of life and a piece of our culture.

One of the largest gnome “producers”, Kimmel, boasts of many gnome species smoking pipes.

Underground trance artist, Wild Wild Chris, even has a song called Gnomes and Pipes.

As your neighborhood gnome physician, I hereby declare my intention to conduct a research study involving the positive and negative effects of smoking upon gnomes.

If the results show minimal health risks, then by all means…..smoke up! However, if the results are truly negative, I will direct my next study to reasonable alternatives to pipe use.

Healthily Yours,
Dr. A. Chu, MD

This entry was posted in Gnomes on the 9 to 5 by Doctor A. Chu MD. Bookmark the permalink.

About Doctor A. Chu MD

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Alvin Chu, MD LAC DIPL OM. The Gnome Abode Health Advisory Board hired me today to serve as the general practitioner for The Gnome Abode.

I suggest that you peruse the list of services that I offer and schedule a consultation immediately. You’re probably sick and a mere one day closer to an untimely demise.

***Office Location: 17 S. Get Well Boulevard, The Gnome Abode, U.S.A***

***Office Hours: Monday-Sunday 4:00am to 1:00am***

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