Some gnomes are affected by the monotony of tradition, the memories of loss, the regrets of what could have been, or the emptiness of superficial facades. Other gnomes are affected by loneliness that only the holiday season can bring, the let-down after a stressful build up of preparations, and a general lack of sense of purpose.
Although the practice I run specializes in Chinese medicine, I am also highly skilled in counselling the mental health of gnomes. However, I’m on vacation this week, so you’re all on your own.
Now now….before you start accusing me of being a walking contradiction and a hypocrite, hear me out.
While you may struggle with the holidays, I personally enjoy them. And I need a flippin’ vacation. I spend long hours taking care of all you freak shows and there’s no one around to take care of me. Good thing I can take care of myself. And you should learn how to also.
In the meantime, I will leave you with one piece of FREE medical advice.
WEAR GNOME SOCKS.
I’m serious. Things can be going to shit, but then you look down and litte gnomes are climbing all over your feet. They’re really therapeutic, actually.
My personal favorites can be found at Sock It To Me. Nine bucks is a small price to pay for mental stability. What have you got to lose? Don’t answer that. I already know the answer. You’ve already pretty much lost everything worth living for.
So I’ll be back in the office on January 7th and you can make an appointment with my assistant at that time if the socks don’t cut it. But since January 7th is a long time away, I really do suggest you try the socks first.
May the power of socks be with you,
Dr. A. Chu, MD, The Gnome