Most of us gnomes at The Abode spend our time in bars. You know, the ones with rows and rows of liquor bottles, endless shots, and if you’re lucky….a pool table. The fun kind!

Other gnomes aren’t quite so fortunate. They spend their lives BEHIND bars instead of INSIDE THEM. Sucks to be them, right?!

It’s a little known fact that gnomish society has a prison in each providence. The nearest prison to The Gnome Abode is located at the corner of North Avenue and Oakley Avenue. While passing by today to get my shoes shined at the local cobbler shop, I had to pass by the local prison.

Check out this poor sap. Pushing a wheelbarrow. Surrounded by weeds and ceramic sculptures. And behind bars.

I don’t know what this bastard did to deserve such a punishment, but it must have been something horrendous. Gnomes fairly uphold the truth and the law in all circumstances. Except when we’re drunk, of course.

Stay out of trouble this weekend, kiddos.

Sincerely,
SpeakNoGnome The Gnome