The Drunk Gnome

Just when you thought your garden was sober…

The Drunk Gnome

Headless Dolls: A Monday Afternoon Stroll

Nothing breaks up the ho-hum of the start of another grueling week in the The Gnome Abode like a Monday afternoon stroll.

It was rather pleasant outside today, and I found myself craving eggplant. Perhaps you didn’t know it, but gnomes LOVE eggplant.

After picking myself a fresh one at the Mexi-market, I put one ceramic foot in front o the other down California Avenue. Lo and behold, just before I reached Cortland, I laid eyes on a trapped gnome!

photo 2

He was faded from the sun and flanked by reflectors! Why are reflectors needed? Is there danger of traffic in this yard? This is no place for a gnome. He didn’t even have any fellow gnomes living in the near vicinity.

This is a call to action for all residents near the Mexi-market. Feed this gnome….he’s pale as shit. Bathe this gnome…it smells like he rarely gets a wash. And bring this gnome a lady…he looks awfully lonely.

The only company nearby was this…whatever this is..

photo 1

Headless dolls. Covered in paint. Plucked out eyes. Children’s handwriting about saving a school.

WHAT?!?!??!

This was creepy to say the least. Save the wayward gnome….save him. Somebody.

Sincerely,
Seamus the Gnome

This entry was posted in Gnome Scout Sightings by Seamus. Bookmark the permalink.

About Seamus

I am Séamas, but everyone just knows me as Travel Gnome Sheldon’s little brother. Ever since we were kids, I’ve always been in the shadow of his pointed hat.

No one tells me anything. I was just informed today that there is a gnome blog out there that apparently others in The Gnome Abode have been writing in for months now.

But you know what? I’ve had enough. II refuse to be ignored. Now is my time to shine. Fuck my brother. I am Séamas….hear me roaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!

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