Gnome Guards Hired due to Security Breach

BREAKING GNEWS

(brought to you by your Gnome King and the letter V)

There has been a security breach in The Gnome Abode. Windows have been shattered. Rocks have been used in a malicious manner. And worst of all, the landscaping has been trampled by what can only be assumed to be a beast.

BEAST!

Details, specifics, and anything actually substantial have not yet been released by the GPD, however, we all know something’s up.

An army of gnome security guards have been hired to stand guard outside The Abode in a most terrifying manner.

I don’t know what they plan to do with those shovels, but I’m most certainly not going to find out the hard way.

I went to the cupboard to see if there were any of those delicious sugar cookies left that they made over the weekend. Instead of scrumptious frosted goodness, this is what I found in their place!

Are we under attack? Who are our enemies? Why didn’t I know about this sooner?!

Sleepless in the Abode,

Jerry The Gnome King

This entry was posted in Gnome Scout Sightings by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *