Gnomes Join Forces with Bunnies and Buddhas…at Mormon Church


Originally published by By Mike Raptis, The Province March 27, 2013

Everybody has a calling at the Mormon church in Kamloops.

Brian Arnold, a retired, 30-year member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, just didn’t think his own would now involve gnomes, bunnies and Buddhas.

After 68 lawn ornaments were mysteriously placed behind the church some time between Thursday evening and Friday morning, Arnold – who discovered them neatly lined up and arranged from big to small – knew he had a job to do.

“I’m thinking some had sentimental value and sure enough, they did,” he said Tuesday, after fielding a number of calls from perplexed seniors around town.

“I’ve just been running them around to people,” Arnold said.

An 89-year-old woman phoned him about two dogs missing from her lawn. She got them back.

The first lady to come to the church was missing a family heirloom her dad made for her – a small red house – which Arnold found with the rest of the ornaments he has stored away for safekeeping.

“The lady said she had been praying that this would come back to her,” Arnold said. “She was a bit teary-eyed. That makes it all worthwhile.”

Still in his possession are items Arnold thinks may be valuable, such as a copper rooster with individual thin-leaf copper feathers – “lots of neat ones” – he said.

The mystery of who is behind the prank is far from solved.

Police have received the file and have asked their crime analyst to conduct a search of any other reported thefts of lawn ornaments, but there are “absolutely no leads to go on,” said RCMP Staff-Sgt. Grant Learned.

“The way things were placed,” Learned said, “indicates they were nicely placed in a decorative environment, so who knows?”

Arnold mentioned that a woman and her friends had just stopped by to claim a gnome with a blue coat and a red hat.

“Her friend was going to put (a notice) out on a tweet or something. I have no idea, I’m retired. I don’t know what a tweet or Twitter is,” Arnold said.

512px-FLDS_Eldorado_hiYou silly Canadians! It’s no mystery why we gathered together with other religious figures at your church…it’s a spiritual movement! Yes, bunnies are religious too. Haven’t you even gone to a Catholic church at Easter?!

We are pissed that you disturbed our gathering. We gnomes, buddhas, and bunnies were devising a plan to combine all our silly religions into one….led by gnomes of course.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a day on everyone’s busy social calendar to meet for spiritual awakening sessions?

Of course you don’t.

Anyway, I’m re-contacting everyone to reschedule now. So when you see us camped out back with a few of your wives, leave us be.

Muchas gracias.

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