Chicago Cubs Gnome Sighting, Courtesy of New Gnome Scout, Titi!

 

Yet another gnome sighting captured by our newest Gnome Scout, Titi!

This sporty lil’ dude appears to be a Chicago Cubs fan. I’m more of a football gnome myself so I can’t really offer much of an opinion about anything baseball related whatsoever. But I will anyway. From what I’ve heard through the chain link fences, this packaged chubb-ster could probably teach that team a thing or eight about how to win a freaking game.

Yeah! Bring on the hate mail! Bring it!

Even though baseball kinda sucks in general, I decided to do some research. You will never believe what I’ve discovered. There are a TON of gnomes that play baseball! Check out this site I found which scopes out gnomes for player trades and team swaps:

http://www.gnomefrenzy.com/mlb-garden-gnomes.html

I had no idea that gnomes were into baseball at all! And that they let chick gnomes play baseball! Chicks!? Who knew?!

My attention span is dwindling with all this SNOOZEball talk. So yeah, we hired this new Gnome Scout, Titi, this week! Titi is a little bit different than any of other Gnome Scouts that we’ve hired. You see, Titi is a CAT!

It is well known that gnomes and cats generally don’t get along at all. However, Titi presented us with an exquisite resume, impressive references, and a case of vintage wine. The wine is pretty freaking good so we made an exception.

(Sidebar: I can’t stop stroking her fuzzy fur. Is that inappropriate for a new hire? I mean, she’s not exactly objecting. And she tells me she is of legal cat age.)

We gnomes tend to get stuck in our old seventeenth century ways, but we are slowly becoming more open minded and welcoming to other species. As long as they don’t fuck us over.

This means you, Titi.

<3 Benjamin The Gnome <3

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About Benjamin

I like to think I’m the jock of the gnome group, but lately I think the universe is telling to slow down. I played middle linebacker in the GFL (Gnome Football League) for six years and won the Badminton Olympic Championship in 1962.

Lately, it seems that my ceramic bones just aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. (No pun intended) (Ok maybe just a little pun). Anyway, the other gnomes have been teasing me about being so accident prone so I thought I would contribute some of my best injury stories here from time to time. Everyone loves a good laugh at someone else’s expense, right?!

Instead of winning the Heisman Trophy, these days I’m winning bets on who’s gonna end up in the ER the most times per week. I welcome sympathy cards, flowers, and crossword puzzles. Much obliged.

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