Gnomes Bunker Down, Prepare for Gnomepocalypse

 

Mayan prophesy is upon us!

Doomsday is tomorrow! 

Worldwide panic ensues!

This “official” human website has lots of good information about the apocalypse tomorrow. However, we’re not convinced that the apocalypse will affect only humans. Gnomes aren’t safe either! We’re on the brink of a Gnomepocalypse as well!

How are your gnomes preparing for December 21, 2012? This is just a glimpse into how we are bunkering down….

We’ve secured buckets of radioactive material to use as weapons of mass destruction. Yes, the lids are on tightly.

We have secured our own gnome-powered light sources so we can can see where the zombies are attacking us from. Better to see them than to feel them. Ew.

We’ve gathered lots of comfy pillows and blankets to hide under when the shrapnel begins to fly. We never sleep without our propane tanks near by.

We’ve made sure to stock up on lots of quality liquor and beer. Although we plan to raid the inventory of all liquor stores that survive the big blast, it’s possible that all alcohol could be destroyed 🙁 What a pity that would be! Don’t worry, we’ll be drunk when the shit goes down regardless.

And last but not least, we’ve stocked up on edible sustinance as well. See look! We have pumpkin pancakes, instant rice, and protein powder! What else could a gnome really ask for!?

So I guess this is goodbye world, from all of us drunk gnomes. We’ve loved sharing our super awesome gnomish world with you, but sadly…we fear this to be the last post from thedrunkgnome.com.

It’s been nice knowing you. Virtually, that is.

Your King and fearless gnome leader til the end of tomorrow,
Jerry The Gnome

This entry was posted in Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.

 

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