He proposed! I said yes!


All you doubters out there can eat your words! And my shi…..well, just eat your words and be done with it, okay? Because you are dealing with the Queen-To-Be, herself! For real this time…promise!

Jerry took me out last night to a drive in movie. We saw the new Batman movie. Towards the end, there was some sort of a technical malfunction and the screen went blank. We sat in his Jeep in silence until he finished a bag of stale popcorn.

Then all the sudden he let out a belch and he says to me and I go like this:

“Hey. Y’know what?” ~ Jerry 

“I know plenty of whats. What what a

re you referring to?” ~ Me

“I’m referring to the what about us getting our relationship documented on paper.” ~ Jerry 

“OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Jerry! Are you asking me what I think you’re asking me? Jerry! Are you FINALLY pulling the trigger? Are you FINALLY making me your queen? Jerry! *SQUEAL!* Are you FINALLY fulfilling your destiny and realizing I am your once and forever love? Jerry! Are you…” ~ Me cut off

“Guess so. Figure it’s time.” ~ Jerry

And that was that.


I am gonna be queen of all gnomekind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most brides are little bitches when it comes to wedding planning. Not Queen Tabitha! I’ve already planned my wedding! It’s all done!

I’ve picked out my wedding china:

I’ve picked out my wedding cake:

Most importantly, I’ve picked out my ring! (shown here on professional hand model, Gnomeplaya)

I’ve also secured an extensive file of engagement photos to post in subway stations and on light poles throughout Gnomeland. Here’s a sneak peak!

Jerry said to keep this quiet until he (being almighty king and all) had a chance to make a public announcement. Well he takes too damn long and I’m too damn excited. I hope this doesn’t fuck something up for him…I mean us….everything is “us” now!

Everything is mine!!!

And love is in the air….gnomes everywhere are making out! To celebrate us! US!

I’ll keep you posted with updates about the upcoming bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette party. Everyone is invited to come celebrate US!

Your Queen-in-Training,
Tabitha The Gnome

This entry was posted in Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings by Tabitha. Bookmark the permalink.

About Tabitha

I was presented with an opportunity, I seized it, and here I am in this so called “Gnome Abode”. Last weekend, I hesitantly vacated my extravagant mansion with an ocean view in California with one mission: To manipulate the King of the Gnomes into making me his wife so I can rule the gnome world and beyond.

I’ve heard rumors that he’s a pushover. I’ve also heard that the only other female gnome here is a total  skank.

Allow me to introduce myself…I am Tabitha and you will soon be worshiping me as your Queen as I rise in the ranks of high gnome society.

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