How do we keep our hats so pointy?

 

Yep, we get that question all the time. Humans seem to think that our hats come to a natural point with no effort whatsoever.

Ha! Wouldn’t that just be delightful!

Just like you, we have to primp and prep before we leave the house. Not only do we have to iron our shirts, comb our beards, and wash our hands….we also have to sharpen our hats!

Check me out here sharpening my otherwise naturally dull green hat.

Hat sharpeners come in all shapes and sizes, for all shapes and sizes of gnomes! Check out Richard Simmons Jr. sharpening his tiny red hat.

And here’s Ceasar with his sharpener…ready for another grueling day in the office.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Hey Horace! Whatsup?! Aren’t those just pencil sharpeners?”

NO.

NO NO NO!

What stupid thoughts you have.

Here’s some weird gnome from Seattle who submitted a photo of himself with his sharpener to be featured in this article. Apparently, gnomes halfway across the country use the same kind of green sharpeners that we do!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little insight into our world of sharp hats this evening.

Farethewell silly humans,
Horace The Gnome

This entry was posted in Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings by Horace. Bookmark the permalink.

About Horace

I’m that gnome who always thinks the lawn is greener on the other side. Sure, I’e practically had life handed to me on a silver mushroom, but still I feel that he is missing out on something great that I should be. My destiny is not being fulfilled within the confines of this spirit that I cannot accept as my own. I recently lost 0.04 ounces since I set his New Year resolution. I’m trying to stay motivated to work out and stop being a Fatty MaGoo. Recently I’ve has taken up rock climbing. Stay tuned…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *