How to Smuggle an Undocumented Gnome Across a Border


Just ask Zookwinkle! He recently snuck across the Canadian border and back with no official documentation whatsoever! As you may remember, Sheldon is the only gnome in The Abode with a passport. He plays it old school. Zook’s something of a renegade.

Here’s his advice on how to brake all sorts of international laws and not get busted:

1. Surround yourself with lots of distracting and cuddly creatures while going through border check. Hold really still so the agent thinks you’re just a toy.

 2. Hitch a ride on a freight train. Border patrol never checks boxcars that smell really nasty, so pick one of those to set up camp.

3. Submit paperwork that has nothing to do with immigration to confuse everyone. Peso helped me complete and notarize this beer tasting form, which was way more fun to fill out anyway.

4.  Bring a bodyguard with you wherever you go. Scary black birds generally do the trick. No one dares mess with me when this beast got my back.

This dude is my hero.

Admirably yours,
Pablo The Gnome

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About Pablo

Just because I mutter incomprehensible and disjointed random shit under my breath from time to time, the other gnomes are trying to get me institutionalized. I ride a bunny rabbit around the yard because I’ve decided that feet are unnecessary. Bunny rabbits make better friends than gnomes anyway and they’re way softer. Ooo! Sparkles!

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