Although The Gnome Abode residents are primarily gnomes, we receive government funding because are an equal opportunity housing unit approved by the Gnomal Housing Authority (GHA). Therefore, we are required to provide space for the occasional non-gnome resident and make them feel as welcome as possible. In this specific instance, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

The Gnome Abode Housing Council (GAHC) would like to welcome our newest resident….Peruvian Princess, Yma Sumac!

Miss Sumac is a recent immigrant from Peru, she has pigtails, and she is HOTTT! Brothers, Hear No Gnome and Speak No Gnome were the first to introduce themselves and present her with a mushroom gift offering.

It didn’t take long for word of the foreign little hottie to spread around The Abode. Gnomes or otherwise, we don’t get a lot of chicks moving in here so this is a really exciting time for all of our libidos.

Due to the shortage of female gnomes around The Abode, our guys have become more open minded about the prospects of interracial dating. I asked some of the guys in the above shot for their opinions on the matter…

“I’d totally do her.” ~ Hear No Gnome

“*Grunt*. *Snort*. *High-pitched squeal*” ~ Speak No Gnome

She’s puuurdy. Even without a pointy red hat, she’ll always be a princess in my eyes.~ Richard Simmons, Jr. The Gnome

“I don’t have time for women in my life at this time. Veteran travel gnome, Sheldon, is teaching me the ropes to follow in his footsteps now that he’s a gimp. I need to focus on my career. However, the time has come for us gnomes to be open-minded and consider women of all races as potential hookups. May the best gnome score! ~ Zookwinkle The Gnome

Well you heard it here, folks. It seems that racism has died out in The Gnome Abode. I’m going to go see if Yma has dinner plans this evening. I have in mind this quaint, little BYOB Thai place around the corner.

Yours in competitive lust,

Leonardo The Gnome