Classified Ad: Knitted/Cloth Gnomes Wanted

I read an article today about knitted gnomes helping to raise a bunch of gnomes for some blokes in England. We sure are the philanthropists, aren’t we?!

Those gnomes were raising money for some dumb school, but that’s not the point of this blog post.¬†Where are these knitted gnomes hiding and how can we get more of them to join our Travel and Adventure department?

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Fragile ceramic gnomes are getting injured every day in the line of duty. Knitted gnomes would be much more suited for the travel industry because of their seemingly unbreakable nature.

I hereby call out to all gnomes made of cloth-like fabric to SHOW YOURSELVES!

Even if you’re a stuffed Santa Claus (i.e. gnome poser), our talented physician specializes in a brand new (never been tried) transformational surgery that will have you looking more gnome-like in no time.


Travel and Adventure Gnome Specialists get an opportunity to see the world in a way that average garden and woodland gnomes only dream of.

Knitted Gnomes

Submit your resume via blog post today and put your cloth-like exterior to use for once!

King Jerry of the Gnomes


Photo credit: Gingerbread Cottage

This entry was posted in Gnome News, World Traveler Gnomes by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.


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