Why Gnomes Make Okay Hood Ornaments: A Fable

Once upon a time, there was a little gnome with a taste for adventure. While all his brothers and cousins were content sitting around the garden, he yearned to see the world coming at him from 70 mph.

He considered riding the coattails of the Travelocity gnome, but he remembered his tendency to get air sickness and quickly reconsidered the notion. He petitioned the gnomish government and secured a high-ranking position as a hood ornament on a bright blue Jeep.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThanks to a hefty dose of epoxy, he little gnome rode on the the front of the Jeep for a full year. One day the bright blue Jeep fell ill and started flashing the “check engine” light on the dash. The little gnome was a little concerned, yet still confident that his trusty Jeep would pull through okay.

When the Jeep’s condition worsened, he checked into auto rehab. Despite his tiny size, the Jeep simply didn’t have enough strength to hold the gnome up any longer. The gnome was sad, but now understood how serious his ride’s condition must be.


Slowly but surely, the rehab nurses restore the Jeep’s health. However they forgot to reattach the gnome on the front bumper when they released him back out into the wild. The Jeep could hear the little gnome sobbing from inside the glove compartment and felt terrible about cheating his best friend out of an exciting drive.

Without a moment’s notice, the Jeep slammed its brakes and spun around 360-degrees. The motion caused the the glove compartment to pop open, freeing the gnome from captivity. Once the gnome toppled onto the passenger seat, he was able to crawl out the open window and position himself on the front of the Jeep. Pulling a miniature tube of epoxy out of his back pocket, the gnome squirted a dollop on his bum and settled in for a long summer’s ride.

The End.


This entry was posted in World Traveler Gnomes by Horace. Bookmark the permalink.

About Horace

I’m that gnome who always thinks the lawn is greener on the other side. Sure, I’e practically had life handed to me on a silver mushroom, but still I feel that he is missing out on something great that I should be. My destiny is not being fulfilled within the confines of this spirit that I cannot accept as my own. I recently lost 0.04 ounces since I set his New Year resolution. I’m trying to stay motivated to work out and stop being a Fatty MaGoo. Recently I’ve has taken up rock climbing. Stay tuned…

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