Vintage 1978 Plush Forest Gnome Arrives at The Gnome Abode

Drunk gnomes love good company. And yesterday, we received a sparkling new addition to our family.

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This little guy showed up at our doorstep most unexpectedly. I nearly turned the postman away, telling him that I hadn’t ordered any more cases of wine and that I didn’t appreciate solicitation.

Fortunately, some of the more sober gnomes in the house persuaded me to take in the package and begin tearing the cardboard box away. photo (1)

He seemed a little frazzled as he crawled his way out of the box. You see, he is a vintage 1978 gnome, created in the spirit of Wil Huygen’s legendary book, Gnomes.

We repeatedly asked where he came from, but as a gnome of few words, all he could do was simply gesture at his manufactured labeling.

“Knickerbocker” – read one label.

“Unieboek” – read another.

If you’re unaware, these are big names in the world of gnomes. We quickly realized that we had a full-blown celebrity on our doorstep!

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He’s still a little shy and smells a teensy bit like grandma’s attic. But his fashion sense and hygiene is impeccable. You’d never know that the ole’ bastard is 35 years old in human years. That’s 275 in gnome years – and in the prime of his life, as the box kindly points out.

So let’s all take a moment to welcome our newest addition to The Gnome Abode!

Somebody buy this guy a drink!

And somebody give him a name! Sadly, he doesn’t seem to have arrived with his “Hello, My Name Is…” badge intact.

Cheers buddy!
King Jerry the Gnome

This entry was posted in Intoxicated Gnomish Escapades and Ramblings by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.

 

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