Black Friday Causes Gnomes to Contemplate the Afterlife


Some gnomes think about shopping on Friday. Other gnomes think about eating leftovers. Call me morbid if you will…but today, I’m thinking of death.

There’s loads of gnome literature out there, but I’ve never seen anything to address questions about what happens to gnomes after they die. Why has nothing been written?! I can’t be the first gnome to have these questions!

My questions  have begun to overwhelm me and I feel the black cloud of Black Friday slowly closing in. Perhaps the approaching “Gnomepocalypse” (December 21st, 2012) is has something to do with it as well.

I consulted my go-to spot, Yahoo Answers, but these seem to apply to only humans. Some of them seem to believe in heaven and hell, some in reincarnation, and some in nothing at all. But what are gnomes supposed to believe in?

There is a serious religious void in our gnomish society. Are there any gnome prophets out there who are able to shed some light upon this blackest of Black Fridays?

Listening to emo music and resorting to poetry in the meantime,
Maurice The Gnome


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