Holy crap. It’s January?!


As Cowabunga mentioned yesterday, we’re pretty much all still battling our New Year’s hangovers in The Gnome Abode. I just rolled out of my mushroom top for the first time all week and walked to the kitchen for some greasy grub.

I noticed a new calendar hanging on the wall. It had been turned to January 2013! Apparently, somebody is more with it than the rest of us around here!


I was very excited to see that we have a new gnome calendar though. There was a yellow Post-it note on it from our dear friend, Jean Fenstermaker. Jean runs a gnome habitat called Gnome Man’s Land in Santa Rosa, California.

Our very own master and goddess, Gnomeplaya, is good friends with Jean and apparently acquired this calendar to help us wee gnomes keep better track of our drunk days!

Hey c’mon. I only missed 3 days so far. There’s plenty more days in January for me.

The feature gnome for January is driving a truck full of flower pots with the caption, “A gnome eagerly drives to the Gnome Gardeners’ Garden to delivery some much sought after attractive flower pots.”

Flower pots? Already? Are those freaking Californians getting ready for Spring already?! We’re still freezing our beards off over here at The Abode and flowers are the last things on our minds.

Regardless, I can appreciate the hopeful nature of this photo to help get our frozen bums through the next 27 chilly days ahead.

Happy January to everyone!
Phillip The ‘Almost Sober” Gnome

ice creamP.S. – After writing this blog post, I found myself researching “frozen gnomes”. You’ll never guess what I found. There’ an ice cream shop in Burlington, Connecticut called The Frozen Gnome!!! I smell a road trip coming on…

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About Phillip

DISCLAIMER: Due to numerous discrimination lawsuits filed against us, we were court-ordered to include Phillip in our blog. Phillip is adamantly opposed to all forms of alcohol and debauchery.

He works a 9-5 job pushing papers around. Rumor has it that he’s an accountant in Pittsburgh, but when you ask him directly, he is never able to provide a clear answer as to what he does for a living. He refuses to wear anything except three-piece suits, and we had to roofie him to stuff him into this traditional gnome outfit for his profile picture.

We welcome you to send Phillip as much hate mail as possible.

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