The Book of Mormon Mentions GNOMES!!!

 

Last night, I had the pleasure of becoming just a tad more cultured AND religiously biased. At the same time! A couple of the guys and I went to see the musical, The Book of Mormon, and it was truly spectacular!

mormon

However, the most spectacular thing about wasn’t the clever verses or the choreographed dancing. IT WAS THAT A SHOUT OUT WAS GIVEN TO US GNOMES!!!

Don’t believe me? Here’s a link to one of the very first songs in the performance, “Two by Two”. Scroll over to time mark 1:07 to be amazed:  http://youtu.be/Hgubhr119io

BOO YEAH! Told ya!!!

Here’s how the most awesome part of that song goes:

Elders, form a line and step forward when your name is called. Elder Young.

Yes, sir.

Your mission brother will be… Elder Grant.

That’s  me. Hey, brother!

And your mission location is… Norway.

Oh wow,  Norway: land of gnomes and trolls!

Hold up. Wait a minute. Noway is the land of gnomes? We don’t even know any gnomes in Norway! England, Australia, Germany, USA….sure! But Norway?!

And trolls too!!! Why are those bastards always lurking around where we are?!

Mormon-bookI do believe this shall need to be the subject matter of an entirely separate blog post. We must conduct research about how our cousins over there are dealing with the nasty ass trolls and all those vikings. A Norwegian investigation must commence ASAP! A call to arms, gnomes….not hands, ARMS!

Until then, I’ll keep humming the catchy tunes from the performance and sliding across the kitchen linoleum pretending I can dance. I’m not gonna say that I’ve converted to Mormonism at all, but then again…our gnome prophet, EvanGelical, is still trying to get us started with our very own gnomish church. (Psst….hey buddy, how’s that going anyway?) I guess I’ll hold out for that.

Besides, I’m not convinced that the actual “holy” book mentions gnomes even a single time. I dare you to prove me wrong.

Yours in Joseph Smith-ness,
Dumblebore The (slightly more cultured) Gnome

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About Dumblebore

dumble2I’m Horace’s little brother. You probably know him, but you’ve probably never heard of me. Such is life. He calls me dumb and a bore. Hence my nickname. I can’t remember my real name.

However, I provide an important service to The Gnome Abode. I’m the gnomish grave digger. C’mon, we live a long time, but you didn’t expect us to live forever, did you?!

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