Extreme Cold Causes Gnomes’ Pipes to Freeze


Due to miserably frigid temperatures in and around The Gnome Abode, all the pipes in our community have frozen.

This should come as no surprise to you. Look around.

See those pipes snapped into pieces all over the ground? Notice how your water faucet doesn’t put out any water? That’s what I thought. And that’s what is going on.


Now everybody chill out. Okay, perhaps that was an inappropriate pun. It’s not easy always being the bearer of bad news.

Our Gnomish Fire Department (GFD) is on the job and working as quickly as their frozen ceramic hands possibly can. They’ve got light bulbs, hoses, snails, and a few buckets of water shipped in from the southern hemisphere. They’ve never dealt with a situation quite like this, but I’m sure they’ll do A-Okay.

We will provide you with updates about water usage as they become available.

Until then…drink beer and use perfume.

Your king,
Jerry The Gnome


This entry was posted in Gnomes on the 9 to 5 by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.


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