NOW HIRING: Gnome Chef Position Available for Abode Cafeteria

WANTED: An innovative, passionate, and customer-oriented Gnome Chef with 20 years of culinary and operational management experience successfully directing high-performance gnome teams within high-volume, high-profit, full-service restaurant, fine-dining, family-style, in-room service, and catering environments. Effective motivator, mentor, and team-builder accustomed to working under fast-paced, high-stress, time-sensitive gnome conditions.


Acknowledged for capacity to manage multiple gnome responsibilities simultaneously, proactively resolve issues, consistently exceed key performance objectives, and easily grasp, create, apply, and present new concepts and methods. Articulate gnome communicator and effective trainer dedicated to continuous improvements in quality, productivity, efficiency, and customer service. Strong qualifications in gnome troubleshooting, problem-solving, and team development. Unique ability to interact effectively with all levels of support personnel and management maximizing kitchen productivity and gnome staff performance.

We are tired of eating noodles for every meal. Immediate help requested. Contact me via blog post reply to be considered for this exciting position.

Best of luck,
King Jerry of The Gnome Abode

This entry was posted in Gnomes on the 9 to 5 by Jerry. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jerry

I am the king of all of the gnomes. You can bow down to me now. No, seriously I mean it. BOW!

I earned the title of Gnome King because I was the very first gnome that our glorious Master/Goddess picked up one hazy day at dollar store in DeKalb, Illinois. I carry a hoe because I’m just THAT pimp. As you can see, I love to smoke various substances and get tangled up in things.

I have everything to say about everything and I’m sure that I have made your life worth living again. You’re welcome.


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