Gnomes Discover Poison Jell-O Jiggler Eggs from 1992

Now that we drunk gnomes have been around more than a year, we can reference posts from LAST YEAR’S HOLIDAYS! WOOT!

Check out my post from Easter 2012, where I tell you all about how gnomes and Easter just don’t get along. Easter 2013 was even more traumatic. Why, you ask?

Some freak show humans introduced us to the ancient practice of making Jell-O Jiggler eggs for Easter. I asked silly humans, “Silly humans, why are you discontent with simply turning eggs inappropriate colors like you’ve been doing for decades?

Silly humans simply shrugged and poured strange mixtures of goopy ingredients into oval-shaped molds. We were all skeptical, of course. But our souls became worn down over time and we succumed to the power of the jiggily egg.

After consuming a half a dozen, this badass gnome (who hasn’t officially introduced himself to any of us yet because apparently, he’s “too cool”) flipped over the box of Jell-O used for the eggs.

EXPIRATION DATE: 3/31/1992

1992?!

This Jell-O expired 21 years ago! Well no shit, Sherlock….no one’s been making Jell-O eggs since 1992 either!

A few of us ended up in the urgent care with IV drips. It’s hard finding medical facilities open on Easter so a few of us are still hanging out in the waiting room.