Who says gnomes can’t bake?!

I hosted a baked baking party at The Gnome Abode this past weekend and it turned out to be an overwhelming success! Leonardo brought over his finest selection of shrooms and almost every gnome in The Abode joined us. Well, with the exception of Phillip, who’s a totally tight ass.

We started out with flour, sugar, eggs, and a splash of whipped cream flavored vodka as a substitute for vanilla extract. Cowabunga surprised us all by finding cookie cutters that looked like us! Gnome-shaped cookie cutters! Who would have thought?!

While the little gnome cookies puffed up in the oven, we passed around the bottle of vodka for inspiration. There was decorating ahead of us and we needed to muster up all of the creativity that we could.

We were nice and toasted by the time the gnome cookies cooled off enough to frost them. We had just enough vodka to add to the homemade frosting mix. Horace has become quite the wonderful artist and helped us make a whole bunch of bowls of brilliant colors!

The gnome cookies were looking great….well, that is until some of the guys got a bit rowdy and started making crude jokes. I can’t exactly prove who made these, but somehow a one-eyed gnome girl cookie wearing a bikini appeared next to a well-endowed dude gnome with junk hanging out of his pants.

And then a turtle appeared. A turtle! Why? WHY?!

We ran out of vodka, we ran out of frosting, and the smoke alarm started going off because no one remembered to shut off the oven. I think we all learned some stuff from our baking day, but we have a whole lot more to learn before making Thanksgiving dinner or some shit like that.

Perhaps I’m a bit biased, but I think they’re awesome. If you agree, message me and I’ll Fed Ex you one. But you’d better act now….the gnomes around here are total Fatty McGoos and they’re disappearing like hotcakes. But they’re better than hotcakes because they’re cookies.

WAA BAMM AND FREAKING YUM,

Kamikaze The Gnome