Good afternoon, my minions.

One of our Gnome Scouts, “Hurricane”, snapped this candid photo of two gnomes making out on a balcony. A PUBLIC balcony! Right in plain sight! Have they no shame?

A true lady would never be caught in such a promiscuous and disgraceful position. It is times like this that I must quote the lyrical genius, Ludacris.

“We want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.” ~ Ludacris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7mXwCktyIY

As the high class lady that I was raised to be, I am truly appalled at the direction in which our gnomish culture is turning. I’ve been researching promiscuity since 7am to see how I can help to put a stop to this epidemic. One thing I am sure about….I’m never going to Finland! They are rated the #1 promiscuous country! But then again, what is there really else to do in Finland. The United States, where The Gnome Abode is, comes in at #22. Well at least in 2000. Perhaps the figures were skewed back then due to the impending doom of Y2K.

Since apparently Roxy has gone on some equally appalling hitchhiking mission, I am the only woman left here. I need to set an example of morality to this lawless gnome community so that they look up to me as a figure of purity when I get King Jerry to make me his wife.

How’s that going, you ask? Eh I don’t know. He booty-called me at 3am completely SMASHED after a night out with the boys. Yes, I let him come over. No, I’m not a hypocrite!

Okay, back to my promiscuity research. I had to take a break and blog a bit because I was getting too turned on. You wouldn’t believe what they put on websites these days!

Oooo ahhh,

Tabitha The Gnome