CASE NO.: 29831 1/2
DATE: December 4, 2013
REPORTING OFFICER: Sgt. SpeakNoGnome
DETAIL OF EVENT: An unidentified gnome wearing little more than heart-shaped boxers was spotted on the corner of Mushroom Lane and Miniature Boulevard this morning at approximately 11:32 am. Said gnome wore a bathroom and opened it to expose an unmentionable atrocity at female gnomes standing around minding their own business.
SUSPECT IN QUESTION: We currently have no leads. A paparazzi photograph is shown below, however, we have no name to place with the….ahem….face. Any information should be directed to www.thedrunkgnome.com or [email protected]. A handsome reward may be offered.
ACTIONS TAKEN: None. I’m still trying to wash the shock and shame from my little gnome eyes.
SUMMARY: There’s a flasher on the loose! No gnome needs to see this. If you can identify this exposed individual, please contact GPD immediately.