As King of the Gnomes in The Gnome Abode, I felt compelled to ceremonially send off our expert traveler, Sheldon, as he embarks into the uncharted territory of Zion National Park and Las Vegas. The lucky little bastard. I am still not sure who he had to sleep with to be appointed to the position of Travel Gnome.
Since 6am, the ever-so-responsible Sheldon has been already packed and ready to go in his cutsie little International Gnome Club bag.
In case you didn’t realize it, we gnomes are huge fans of silly string. Any gnomish ceremony around involves at least a can or two of the magical substance. I sent the gnome I like the least, Phillip, down to the basement to check our supply. Much to my relief, there was PLENTY of silly string down there!
I made that creepy lizard, St. Bastille Day, make sure we weren’t breaking any laws. He always seems to be getting arrested, so I figured he would know the most about getting around the law. The last thing we need around here is another raid by the GPD. Much to my surprise, that creepy lizard did his due diligence, checked his calendar to verify today’s date, and verified that our silly string is within the scope of the law.
I made our new gnome librarian and educator, The Quick Brown Fox, do some research into what silly string is actually composed of just to make sure it doesn’t cause long-term gnomish damage. Propellant? Resin. Surfactant? Other? Sure! That all sounds safe, right?!
So onward and upward with the ceremonial sent off!!!!!!!!!!
You might not recognize him, but THIS is Sheldon after we got through with him. Yes, I authorized this. Yes, I am an awesome leader. Thanks for noticing!
I wonder how his TSA pat down is going to go with that goop all over him. Hahahaha not my problem!
BON VOYAGE, SHELDON!
Jerry, King of the Gnomes