Magenta stiletto, anyone?

Um, I’m not sure if anyone is reading this or out there or what. But I woke up in a bathtub with chunks of green jello in places that green jello should just never be.

I remember being invited to this housewarming party by some cute lil’ gnome fella I met at the bus stop the other day. I remember a bathtub full of green jello. I remember people digging green jello out of the bathtub with spoons. I’m pretty sure there was more in that jello than just jello.

Anyway, it’s 5pm and I just work up in this weird house and no one seems to be home. I can’t find my phone or my car keys so I guess I’m just stuck here. One of the gnomes that lives here left his computer on and this weird blog thingie was up. I figured this is my only way to reach the outside world. SO HI OUTSIDE WORLD!!!

Anyway, I’m not all that concerned about getting out of here. They have cable and a bunch of cereal in the cupboards. What I AM concerned about is my magenta stiletto. I have one of them but not the other, so this is clearly a problem. I took a picture of the one I have so if you see it somewhere out in the world, you can blog back to this thingie and hopefully someday we’ll be reunited.

Magenta Stiletto, Size 0.07

I wear a size 0.07 (yes I know it’s the perfect size feet for my gnomish body type) so you might have a hard time seeing it if some beer bottles or cigarette butts are covering it up.

Irregardlessly, please contact me somehow! I think I got a bunch of gnome guy’s phone numbers last night but I lost my phone so I won’t have a booty call tonight unless you’re reading this. Hint. Hint.

xoxo,

Roxy The Gnome

This entry was posted in Secrets of a Slutty Girl Gnome by Roxy. Bookmark the permalink.

About Roxy

So whaddya think of my tits? C’mon. I’m the only girl gnome in this whole bunch. How could I NOT be a slut? I would certainly welcome other gnome girlfriends but I yet to find a single one. If you see one hookin’ a street corner, send her my way, eh? I stay out too late, I drink too much, and I find myself in sketchy situations on a daily basis. But you’ll love the stories that come out of it, cross my tits. 

XOXO

Roxy

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *