Roxy Gets Drunk in Madison


I woke up in an armchair in Madison on Sunday morning with puke in my hair. No, that’s not uncommon. But it uncommon for it to happen in Madison. Of all places Madison.

The armchair belonged to three brothers…..The Brothers LeBeef. I’m not even joking. That was really their name. Carlos, Fernando, and Ramon LeBeef.


Fernando, who seemed to be the friendliest of the bunch, filled me in on the previous night’s shenanigans. Apparently, I met the three of them at a restaurant convention back home in Vegas and they convinced me to come check out their little eatery back in Wisconsin.

I really gotta get my head checked out. I don’t remember any of that! Except the restaurant convention. They served fabulous crème brûlée at the welcome party.

I can’t seem to find my purse anywhere and without my purse, I have no ID. Without my ID, I can’t catch a flight back home to Vegas. So I guess I’m stuck in Wisconsin.


I made the boys pick their favorite local brewery and take me there to get drunk and drown my sorrows of being in Wisconsin. They picked Vintage Brewing Company.


Samplers are a girl’s best friend because they don’t force us to make up our minds. Dating three brothers kinda falls along the same lines, dontcha think?! Wink wink 🙂

Anyhoo, the boys didn’t let me down with Vintage. Their beers were delicious! As if it’s not obvious, my memory kinda sucks. And although I remember very little about this past weekend, I do remember a couple of my past beers. Most memorable were the Scaredy Cat Oatmeal Stout (because every girl needs her breakfast) and the Hibiscus Saison (because it reminded me of all the beautiful flowers my admirers have given me.

I know a lot of the gnomes on here write elaborate brew reviews with tasting notes and pairing recommendations. But I’m a simple gal with simple tastes and big tits. I drank the beer, it was good, and I got drunk.

End of story.

Now how the hell am I gonna get out of this god-forsaken state?!

Roxy The “bitches call me a ho but they’re just off their game” Gnome

This entry was posted in Gnome Brew Review, Secrets of a Slutty Girl Gnome by Roxy. Bookmark the permalink.

About Roxy

So whaddya think of my tits? C’mon. I’m the only girl gnome in this whole bunch. How could I NOT be a slut? I would certainly welcome other gnome girlfriends but I yet to find a single one. If you see one hookin’ a street corner, send her my way, eh? I stay out too late, I drink too much, and I find myself in sketchy situations on a daily basis. But you’ll love the stories that come out of it, cross my tits. 




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