That crazy broad wouldn’t let me go on the Florida trip with her and her manfriend. I have been by her side (and in her bed….ahem) for 10 years now! Where is the respect? Where is the loyalty?
I tried to sneak into her suitcase. Check this shit out:
And do you believe what happened next! Even if you do, I’ll show you anyway because I’m just that pissed off.
To make matters worse, she came home with a stuffed manatee, a manatee backpack, and a manatee necklace. I feel like I’ve been replaced. Life sucks.
Can someone please get me out of here? I can be reached via carrier pigeon. It’s a little known fact that pigeons and lizards mate in the springtime.
St. Bastille Day